I struggled with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and Anxiety and panic disorder since I was 7. So bad that for a year straight I wouldn't leave my house, because every time I did I would have an anxiety attack which would escalate into full blown panic attack, and I was afraid of the fear and panic. After a year I just got tired of it and went to the doctor and got on an anti anxiety medication. Six years went by and it just stopped working. My fear and panic came back 10 times worse than it ever was before, that time around it felt like I was looking fear right in the face. Not any particular fear, but fear its self. I would have panic attacks that lasted 6 hours, because of this fear.
However that time around I wasn't going to give into my fear, I fought it, I fought it and fought it and fought it, but it just wasn't leaving. This fear was so overwhelming I thought it was going to crush the life out of me. One day after a panic attack that lasted for about 2 hours and still going, I just gave up and got into my bed, I knew this one was going to kill me, I just knew it. After laying in my bed for a few minutes, in such a panic I was getting physically sick. The Lord said, "Are you done fighting this? Are you at the end of yourself yet? If you are, what do you have left to lose than to just trust me...'
So I said "you're right Lord. I'm done fighting this, and no matter if this panic attack lasts the rest of my life I'm going to trust You. No matter if this kills me, I trust You with my life."
That was the moment of my total freedom from panic and anxiety. That moment changed my life forever.
However that time around I wasn't going to give into my fear, I fought it, I fought it and fought it and fought it, but it just wasn't leaving. This fear was so overwhelming I thought it was going to crush the life out of me. One day after a panic attack that lasted for about 2 hours and still going, I just gave up and got into my bed, I knew this one was going to kill me, I just knew it. After laying in my bed for a few minutes, in such a panic I was getting physically sick. The Lord said, "Are you done fighting this? Are you at the end of yourself yet? If you are, what do you have left to lose than to just trust me...'
So I said "you're right Lord. I'm done fighting this, and no matter if this panic attack lasts the rest of my life I'm going to trust You. No matter if this kills me, I trust You with my life."
That was the moment of my total freedom from panic and anxiety. That moment changed my life forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave something behind.